Only The Good Die Young?

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Well, no one died but it sure feels like we did.

I’m 21 years old and have legally possessed the right to make decisions regarding majority of my life choices since I turned 18. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I relinquished this right when I accepted my bid to the Mu Alpha chapter of the Chi Omega fraternity at the University of New Hampshire my freshman year at school. From that moment on, I became a Chi Omega before I was Hilary Gaumer and for a while, nothing made me happier. Chi Omega came to me as a saving grace at a time where I felt so desparately lost and alone; I met my best friends, got involved on campus, happily devoted countless hours to community service, and overall grew both personally and professionally.

Over the past six months, however, any positivity brought into my life by this organization was overshadowed by negativity based upon a single social event that took place on my off campus home (in which the only people who pay rent are the tenants who live at this residence- myself and six of my other Chi Omega roommates- and is in no way financially supported, or otherwise, by the Chi Omega fraternity).

It was a sunny Friday afternoon in mid September and the Mu Alpha senior class gathered at our house on 13 Madbury Road (may I please re-iterate that this residence is entirely separate from the Mu Alpha chapter house) to have a few legal drinks among 37 legal seniors and a number of sober executive board members for safe supervision. This was a celebration for the seniors and a way to kick off our senior year. We each look back at this day and remember how much fun had as a class; no one was hurt and zero casualties were suffered. That was until we realized that a fellow member of our beloved Greek community took it upon herself to report this celebration as an “unregistered Chi Omega social event in which alcohol was involved”. It wasn’t until I was asked to resign my membership that I realized nationals justified this violation by claiming that my house, once again paid for by only myself and my other roommates, was a Chi Omega property based on its perception on campus (i.e. because traditionally, Chi Omega sisters live there). I could run through all the gory details here that unfolded in the months that followed but I’ll give you the abbreviated version and leave any opinions to the reader.

After a slew of dramatic events, including being put on probation and then “seriously delinquent” status (Juvie, anyone?), our national representatives decided to conduct a membership review of every single member of the sorority to determine whether or not we were here for the right reasons. They may want to reconsider the name of this exercise and call it what it really is – a 20 minute interrogation of all of the offenses they’re accusing you and your chapter of. Each of these meetings was followed by a 10 minute meeting a day later in which the national reps determine your membership status: you could remain an existing member, be asked to resign, or be asked to accept early alumna status prior to your graduation. Aside from the two bogus claims on the behalf of two younger sisters, not a single person was asked to resign with the exception of myself and 5 of my roommates, as we were hosts to our senior class on the day of the celebration and therefore the root of all evil in Chi Omega. My sixth roommate along with the entire senior class was asked to assume early alumnae status. I would apologize for my actions and words I spat at the national reps when it was time for my meeting, but that would require me to be sorry. The laws that myself, roommates and fellow seniors so heinously violated (Chi O bylaws- in no way illegal under the U.S. Constitution) were, essentially, drinking legally with our friends and “according to younger sisters, intimidating members and therefore preventing the house from moving forward” – it’s truly a dog eat dog world when you allow your seniors to sit on couches at house meetings, isn’t it? Our entire senior class, the current foundation of the Mu Alpha chapter, was scape goated in an effort to combat some much larger problem within our chapter that is apparently the presence of underage drinking, which I was repeatedly asked about in my “membership review”. Apparently, I was unaware that not only am I responsible for my own decisions, but I must also police every underage member and rip alcohol from their hands at any opportunity. FYI – we attend the University of New Hampshire- you may have seen us on the news for parties and riots that have to be broke up by SWAT teams, but sure, I will go around writing alcohol citations to all of my sisters under the legal drinking age because, what else is there to do with my life?

What’s even more confusing however, is the lack of recognition regarding my chapter’s positive attributes. Was no praise warranted when we won chapter of excellence two years ago? Or that we currently hold the highest women’s GPA campus wide? I’m wondering where you pleasant women were when our university was recognizing us for these accomplishments. Not to mention the thousands of dollars that we raise annually for non profits, most sepcifically the Make- A- Wish foundation. It’s only that we hear from you when we are posing a liability to you and a threat to your reputation.

In May, I’ll be graduating with some of the smartest, most compassionate, hard working people that I have ever had the privilege to know not to mention become best friends with. They’ve served as leaders, positive influences and role models, charitable donors and volunteers on behalf of this organization. I wonder if our nationals considered these things  when they asked us to no longer refer to us as sisters and revoke our letters. Thinking back to my original interview, not once was I asked my personal reason for joining Chi O nor if I had contributed anything to the house. Their verdict to attempt to eliminate us from the house came with great anger but also deep disappointment that I have allowed myself to lose sight of my own values, and participate in an organization which demeans, bullies and represses its members as our national representatives have done to us throughout this process. Perhaps it is my fault for failing to realize that I relinquished my independence and overall, the right to live my life by my own perrogative the day that I accepted that bid; and for that I will take full responsibility. However, I want people both within and outside of the Greek community to realize the outright tyranny bestowed on myself and fellow sisters and I beg you to stand up for what you believe in and never accept defeat when you know you are being wrongly accused.

Fortunately for myself, disregarding this surreal disaster, Mu Alpha has given me so much that I am grateful for which can never be taken away from me when you wipe my name from the role book. To my beautiful sisters, I will always be grateful for your friendships and inspirations. You’ve bettered me in more ways than one and for that I am eternally indebted to you.

“The moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away”

P.S. – Shout out to the Greek/ Larger UNH community for the overwhelming words of support following the recent events; you rock never change!

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39 thoughts on “Only The Good Die Young?

  1. I am a chio alumni and I am sorry to hear this happened to you! Mu Alpha gave me so much during my sisterhood and it seems as if you were truly used a a scapegoat in all this. Stay strong and enjoy your senior year – you are a ChiO at heart ❤ No one can take that away from you.

    • Joslyn-

      I can’t tell you how much the outpouring of support that has followed this post means to myself and the rest of the sisterhood! Thank you for your comment, it’s wonderful to know how many alumnae we have backing us during this.

  2. Chi Omega doesn’t realize the enormous loss it just imposed upon itself! Hold your head high and never accept someone else’s opinion of you! As a whole, you are an incredible group of young women who have more than proved yourselves as smart, responsible and caring young adults. Perhaps they wanted some blood. Shame on them!

  3. Don’t know much about what happened, but based on what you wrote (and how you wrote it) I’m proud you were a member of Chi-O. As a 2010 alumni, I joined the house because I was inspired by intelligent, tenacious girls who were down to earth & knew how to have a good time. The danger of joining any organization is bureaucracy & self-preservation at the expense of common sense and it’s individual members….which it kind of sounds like happened here. To pretend that there is anything unusual about college kids drinking is a farce, and to pretend it isn’t at least part of the culture or appeal of Greek life or college life in general is equally laughable. What matters is intent, and I have a hard time believing any actual bullying or intimidation came out of that house. Unfortunately, for our national representatives, the effect their damage control plan will have will likely bring more negative then positive. Keep your head up girl!

  4. As Hilary’s mother, Chi-O sister and a UNH / Mu Alpha chapter alumni, I am first and foremost extremely proud of my daughter. Secondly, I am so disappointed and angry with the way the Chi Omega national representatives have handled this recent situation at UNH. If they were looking for a way to FIX underage drinking on college campuses and the effects that this can have on college students, they certainly picked an unusual way to make their point.
    The national Chi Omega representatives came into Durham with seemingly one thing in mind, finding somewhere and someone to place blame. Unfortunately for Hilary and the other Chi Omega seniors, they are taking the fall for someone else’s agenda. Not once that I am aware of did they break any legal and/or Chi O rules regarding social situations and underage drinking. What they have had to deal with however is the loss of senior privileges and fraternity social activities for the entire year because of past infractions that range as far back as 10 years. To add insult to injury they are now being asked to resign from Chi Omega or assume alumni status.
    From what I have seen over the last 4 years that Hilary has been involved with the Mu Alpha chapter, the Chi Omega fraternity of today is far more involved and dedicated to community affairs and charitable organizations than we ever were back in the 80’s. The young women of this fraternity are dedicated to their studies and have a high regard for their education.
    Their time, support and experiences at my Chi Omega will forever more be tarnished but fortunately their friendships are a lot stronger than these feeble allegations that are being reigned upon them.
    Stand strong girls! The bonds that you have formed will far outweigh this current situation.
    Hilary, I love you, support you and continue to be so proud of the young women that you are.

    • “Not once that I am aware of did they break any legal and/or Chi O rules regarding social situations and underage drinking. ” Unfortunately, they drank in letters and posted photos of it.

      • The photos were posted after we had received the status of our memberships; furthermore, there is no alcohol present in the photos nor is there a Chi Omega national law that states if you are of legal age you are prohibited from drinking in letters. I know because it was one of the few questions I was allowed to ask in my meetings.

  5. I write this with an odd mix of pride and anger. As the reader might imagine, I am proud of Hilary (my daughter) for displaying the spine and fortitude to call out the hypocrisy and insincerity displayed by Chi Omega’s national representatives. I can only imagine that the lives of these representatives are as empty as their reasoning, with a primary desire to represent some unblemished, unreal vision of a sorority life.

    My anger arises out of having spent two years as president of my fraternity chapter’s alumni association. I have occupied the role held by Hilary’s antagonist from the national association. I volunteered for the job because the chapter faced severe financial, governance and management problems. The team of which I was a part quickly realized that the undergrad brotherhood, while misbehaved, was more accurately in need of leadership. And you know, they found leadership from within, and the alumni association gave it full support.

    These brothers of mine (a full generation younger) would never be mistaken for monks. Yes, they could be wild, drunk and destructive. They also learned to accept responsibility, fix their mistakes, grow in to young men, and give of themselves. When viewed in the aggregate, they had become damn fine young men. None of what that chapter has become was due to any “national” organization. They are my brothers because of the common heritage we all experienced.

    Why is this important? Simple, really.

    Any organization that determines it is more interested in C.Y.A. than fraternity is not a social organization; it is not a mutual friendship society; not a sorority. It is an insurance company. Yet my daughter paid dues, not premiums. How odd.

    By their representatives and behavior, it is certain that Chi Omega is no longer interested in shaping the women of tomorrow. Rather, it is foolishly attempting to present a fictitious representation of itself. Good luck with that.

  6. Well said! I’m a 2009 alumni, and it seems nothing has really changed in the five years since I was a sister at Mu Alpha. Greek life has always been placed under a microscope, one that is completely unwarranted and more than unfair. As members of the Greek system, students are held to unreachable high standards…and it appears now that not only is the university being unreasonable, but nationals as well. I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you, but it wasn’t all for nothing. Take with you the memories and friends you made that will last a lifetime, and know that you have the understanding and support of countless alums.

  7. Hilary, As a Mu Alpha alum I am sorry this had to happen to you girls and who I can only assume are fellow “banana girls” Having lived there myself I remember it was an expectation to be the host for all celebrations and unfortunately you girls are taking the fall for others actions. I will say this, no one can take away your letters really so remember the good times and continue to appreciate chi o for what it gave you not what was taken away. For everyone else, please remember that just because something is a tradition from years past doesn’t mean that its still necessary, reevaluate why certain things are being done and what their value really is. On top of that, for whoever happened to report Chi O in this instance greek or not, move on from it, as a house remain classy and keep your chins high. I no longer have any letters as I graduated 7 years ago now but that doesn’t mean I’m not proud to represent Mu Alpha. My bridesmaids are Chi O’s and that is more important that my number in a role book. Enjoy your last couple months at UNH. Go to the knot and tell Ryan that Lauren his first bartender said to buy you a drink 🙂

  8. This was incredibly well written. Shame on whoever tried to tarnish the reputation of the house by attempting to get them in trouble for a completely legal action inside a private residence; that is such a huge detriment to Panhel unity. I am so sorry that Nationals and the university conducted themselves so poorly, and I applaud how well you stood up for yourself. Contrary to how you were treated during the investigation, you and your sisters set great examples to Chi O’s everywhere. LICO ❤

  9. I just read your story as it was posted by a fellow Mu Alpha Chi-O. I graduated from UNH 19 years ago and when I saw the picture that begins your post,immediately, I was smiling, remembering the great times I had at Chi-O and most importantly all the girls that would have been in that same photo with me. It truly hurt to read what national reps have put you through and tried to take away from you. From your words it is clear that you have a clear understanding of who your are, what your beliefs are, and no national rep can take that away. I’m sorry that your senior year was tarnished with these events. I wish you the best in all the future offers to you….

  10. I happen to be the proud father of one Sabrina Lucius. As a parent I think as you watch your children get older and become more independent you often wonder if you did enough along the way as a parent to make sure that they are capable of surviving on their own. Over this past weekend I sat on the sideline and watched from a distance as my daughter and her wonderful Chi Omega friends/sisters were subjected to what could only be classified as a witch hunt.
    These young ladies could have groveled, begged for leniency or told their interrogators exactly what they wanted to hear and if they did perhaps things would have been easier for them.
    Instead, in my opinion, a truly wonderful thing took place. These wonderful young ladies decided to stand up and look their accusers in the eye and in essence said to them we will not be bullied. We will not be intimidated. We will stand up for what is right.
    Unfortunately even when people stand up for themselves and do the right thing there sometimes is an undeserving price to be paid. While they may have taken some things away from you they have not taken your dignity, pride or self respect.
    I could not be more proud of my daughter and her sisters. Sleep well ladies and hold your heads high. You all have success written all over you!
    I love you Sabrina and I am so proud of the young lady you have become! .

  11. As a former house mother to these amazing women I am beyond hurt and upset that they would be put through this. I observed the politics during my time there and unfortunately you girls were the victims of a political message. You all are some of the most driven young women I have ever met and I know that they cannot take away your friendships. I love you all and hope that you will enjoy your senior year with lots of LEGAL drinking!

    Love, Ktrain

  12. As a Chi o Alum, I think you are neglecting the facts a little here..

    Although I agree that Nationals overreacted, drinking in letters is a clear violation, and unfortunately Mu Alpha was tempting fate (again) on Initiation night while already on probation.

    Well written article, however, I am sorry you guys got the rough end of Nationals, and I hope for the best

    • Unfortunately, this is only a rule at the UNH campus. There are many other chapters around the country that do not follow this “rule.” This is yet another way that the Mu Alpha chapter set their standards higher than the other chapters around the country. I am only informing you because I had not known this until I graduated from this chapter and discussed this with other “sisters” around the country.

  13. You don’t know me, but I stumbled across this post thanks to my GGLittle who shared it on Facebook. I am an UNH alum and a former member of another sorority on campus. I wanted to take a minute to say how sorry I am that your senior year has been tarnished by your nationals. The last year of college is of course stressful on so many levels, but us Greeks now how much there can be to look forward to. So once again, I’m sorry you have been robbed of this fun and special time with your sisters.

    The real reason I was compelled to comment here is to share a personal experience that occurred in 2009 when my own Nationals payed a visit to campus. My chapter was in the midst of a rough patch. We had infractions dating back years, select seniors who only showed up for the “fun stuff”, our house was quite literally falling down. I was on exec board this year and as a sophomore, totally naive in thinking that I could make everything okay. In the spring, a random letter was sent to the Greek Advisor accusing us of a very specific hazing allegation. We all got to hear the letter, many of us knowing right away that whoever wrote it had confused us for another sorority. Nonetheless, our naipnals showed up for a review much like yours.

    We were not totally innocent. We had certainly broken rules. But we were not guilty of what they were accusing and we were certainly not criminals. All 100+ of us sat down for our 5-10 minutes with four women, only one of whom I’d ever seen before. They made wild accusations, insuated that I was lying, and seemed to take some pleasure in making me cry. And that was just my meeting. By the end of the meeting we each received our punishment. Some girls were honest about even little things and they received harsh punishments, which included banishment from ever being alone with new members. Many older girls were asked to resign. I had my exec position taken away and so did many other people who had done nothing.

    The point is, while very different from your situation, our National reps needed to head back with something to show for their visit. They punished people for being truthful about minor infractions. They held us responsible for behaviors of women who had long since graduated. They spent literally no time asking about the positives of our chapter or what any of it meant to us. They came to make a point and they did.

    I’m not going to pretend like this didn’t rip our house apart. It did. Many younger girls resigned because they no longer recognized the chapter they had joined. Some of us who stayed could never seem to get the chip of our shoulder left by our “sisters” at Nationals.

    At the end of it all, I was able to finish out my four years in Greek life but I did so with a lot of resentment for the “standards” of sisterhood I was forced to follow. The truth is, national sororities these days are being run like corporations. All they really want is more money from us and to project an image that was created by some marketing team who know nothing of sisterhood. Greek life, especially at UNH, has been in a transistion for years, towards organizations that are strictly community and academically focused. Despite the fact that members of Greek life, truly behave no differently than any other college students when it comes to drinking and partying. And despite the fact that other organizations from Scope to the athletic teams behave similarly, or even worse, to Greeks, the attention will always be focused on us. Current members are expected to fall in line once they are initiated, even if it’s not what you signed up for. It isn’t fair, but unfortunately, as you can see, it is not just Mu Alpha who is paying the price.

    But, in case you were wondering, now that I am several years out of college, I don’t regret anything. I went Greek to meet friends and have exciting experiences. It wasn’t what I thought it would be 100% of the time, but it was still meaningful. It brought me my best friends in the whole world, and for you, resigning isn’t going to change that. I hope you and your fellow seniors can find a way to move past this and enjoy the rest of your time at college. Appreciate what Mu Alpha has brought you. Know that your true sisters are the women who sit around you at every chapter meeting, not who show up once a year to tell you what you can do better. Your true sisters know and love you and that will never change.

    And I hope that someday, when you speak I your time in Greek life, you are able to focus on those wonderful friendships and the woman Mu Alpha helped you become, and not the terrible way it all ended.

    • Your comment means more than you know. I will continue to look back on the past 3 and a half years with the fondest memories and remember Mu Alpha in the most positive light! xoxo

  14. As a Mu Alpha alum I am sad to hear your story and wish you and the seniors the best. You are all lucky to have found each other through this organization and will continue to have lifelong friendships. As an alum who has been out of school for several years I have learned that there are 2 sides to every story and that rarely is one party completely right or wrong. It certainly sounds and though you and the other seniors were put through the ringer which is not right but Nationals would not send representatives unless there were some serious problems to be worked out and violations that had occurred. Since the incident you write about happened many months ago that was probably not the one that brought them to campus but instead one of the “slew of dramatic events” that you mention. Underage drinking is an issue on every campus in the country not just UNH. People need to be responsible for themselves – surely you and the other seniors of legal age should not be expected to “rip alcohol from their hands at any opportunity” as you say but rather be expected to be good role models as the foundation of the chapter. Nationals was wrong if they indeed did ask you to do that. You also do not mention anything about University rules which almost surely were violated. It sounds as though Mu Alpha is lucky that our Nationals stepped in and did not leave our fate to UNH officials as surely we would no longer be on campus. There are many other houses who have closed for similar alcohol-related violations. It saddens me to hear that you feel as though you were treated poorly by the organization you put so much into over the last few years but it also saddens me that you seem to not be taking responsibility for your actions. Everyone makes mistakes and, hopefully, can learn from them. The day you accepted your bid was the day you agreed to abide by Chi Omega’s national rules and policies and the UNH Greek system’s rules and policies. If you didn’t agree with those rules or policies you were certainly free to walk away.

    • Ann-Marie,

      Either you do not have your facts straight, or you have no facts to go upon.

      Six sisters, all roommates, are being told they are no longer welcome as XO sisters. Their “crime” was holding a private gathering on private property. Allegedly they were drinking. Not a serious crime since all were of legal age.

      I’ll bet you do the same in your own home. XO national claims that since the sisters were all roomates, and the guests were also sisters, then the house was XO “property”. This is a curious position on two fronts:

      There is no financial, or legal connection between XO and said propoerty. I can assure you that neither the local chapter or national pays any of the girls’ rent.

      Next, such a claim, based upon a common gathering of legal age sisters, who indulge in a beer or worse, would de facto expel each of you after your first homecoming. All one needs to do is take a photo of the tailgating area.

      Far from dodging responsibility, the girls have pointedly defended their use of their own property for a legitamate and legal social gathering. No one lied, or clouded the facts. This is especially relevant as their is no law, and no rule which prevents it. (NO, XO National does NOT prevent those of legal age from drinking “in letters”.)

      The girls did have the temerity to fire back questions at the accusers, asking for the grounds upon which their proposed actions were based and more often than not recieved no answers. Their accusers never asked about the totality of experience at the chapter, what positive elements the chapter, or the girls had contributed. One can only surmise that they were not interested in substantiating their action

      Sadly, XO’s national representation is acting similarly to commanders of a grade school playground club, while the true embodiment of sisterhood takes place within the community of Mu Alpha. National may take away the names of these six ladies from the playground club, though their friendships and examples they set in this incident will last a lifetime.

      • Ann-Marie,
        You do not understand how Chi Omega Nationals are until you have met them and have also been ripped apart by them. As a member of a chapter that was interrogated by them and then closed by them for ridiculous reasons, you DO NOT understand what it’s like or how they are. They are some of the most terrible people I have ever met and I’m sure if they have a soul.

  15. You go girl. I was in a sorority at UNH and went through something similar. When you graduate it becomes much clearer- nationals is a bunch of divorcé women with a nack for bullying, undermining talent, a false sense of importance, and too much time on their hands. Graduate and become everything you’re capable of. While leading a successful career, I’ve never looked back. Trust me – keep doing you!!!

  16. You got the shit end of the stick. Your university or nationals was obviously looking for someone to be made an example of, its sad. Some administrations just want to watch greek life tumble until it isn’t there, the campus I am an alumnus to is a great example of that. Out of the small group of chapters a majority of us went on probation within a single year. Only 2 remained unscathed and they don’t do anything, period. So its no surprise. I am very sorry for your ordeal, and you are justified in having no remorse for your actions.

    It sounds like yourself and your housemates are hardly criminals or worse yet, bad sisters…..

  17. Your story broke my heart. I’m sorry your national headquarters did this to you. My chapter is going through a really rough patch right now and I understand how it feels getting attacked by nationals for no reason. Stay strong! You and your chapter are in my thoughts and prayers.

  18. My chapter went through the same exact thing and sadly our chapter got shut down this year. These national ladies are nothing but terrible (I’m not sure if the same ladies who came to us came to you but I assume they all suck) trying to pin friends against friends. They interrogated us like we were criminals. Seeing this post made me so happy that someone was willing to speak out, something that I wish I could have done a while ago. These ladies accused us of being bad people and making bad decisions yet they never say anything about all the good that we do. All we ever hear is nationals side of things no one ever cares to ask the students side of things. We were never in trouble with panhel and had great relationships throughout the Greek community, but because we brought bad publicity to Chi Omega’s “good” name they just kicked us to the curb. My friends are some of the most amazing people I will ever meed and I’m sure yours are too, but these ladies don’t care about us they just cared about our money and their reputation. Who knew that by accepting a bid we were joining Tyranny. I wish I could challenge these nationals ladies to visit every chapter and see what kind of drinking is going on everywhere else.
    Mine along with my best friends names were wiped from the role book but they can never take away the friendships we’ve made.

  19. This was so amazing to read, so spot on and well put together. Although I’m in a different sorority, something very similar happened to our chapter. So proud of you, you’ll always be a chi o in heart.

  20. As a former member of the Nu Gamma chapter of Chi Omega at PennState, I 1000% understand your frustration with nationals. About a month ago, we were kicked off campus. I do not know if you recall the picture of the “racists,” but I was front and center in that picture that started it all. It was my pledge class’s attempt to do something funny, rather than slutty. However, not everyone thought it was funny and we all acknowledge that the signs could be taken as offensive. In short, we were too placed on seriously delinquent status last January and we also went through member reviews. They stalked our twitters, Facebooks, instagrams and even vines (which they continued to do to the girls they kicked out…after they kicked them out) After the interviews, half the sorority was kicked out, blah blah blah and they continued to harass my sisters. They told the girls that were still members that they could not be friends with the girls who were kicked out… so much for sisterhood for a lifetime, am I right? In the end, they expected us to never drink/have social functions ever again (what…) and in February, we were given an ultimatum: either never have a social function again (even after we surpassed probation status) OR decide to close the chapter. Their continued harassment after last year’s member reviews made us fed up and we decided to ultimately close our chapter to end their interference in our lives. Their expectations were unrealistic at a school like PennState. The greek community at my school also sympathizes, however, we all feel that it is for the better because the national representatives are no longer all over every little thing we do.

    Regardless, even though you weren’t kicked off campus like my chapter, please know we understand your frustration with their rule bending and unrealistic expectations. Think of it as a blessing in disguise that you met your best friends and got all of the great experiences you did out of Chi Omega, that’s what I do.

  21. So sorry to hear that you and the members of your chapter went through this process. I was an advisor for a chapter in PA, and my chapter went through the same process, But twice. As an advisor we were completely left out of the process, had no idea what questions they were asking, but heard it was a very unclassy process. Eventually the chapter was closed, because the members, being typical college students, couldn’t adhere to National’s policies in regards to risk management. I am afraid to tell them, that most of their Chi O chapters are violating their policies, they just aren’t getting caught. Remember National can not take away from you, your memories, friendships and experiences. You are a richer person, a stronger person and you’ll take this unpleasant experience and be a better person. Be proud!

  22. Hi Hilary,

    My chapter just went through the same thing here at the University of Oregon. I was wondering the after math of how everything went down. Our senior class is disheartened by the situation.

    Thanks,

    Jocelyn

    • Hi Jocelyn,

      I’m sorry to hear that your chapter is currently going through a similar situation. In the end, myself and my five other senior roommates tried to appeal our membership revocation but unsurprisingly we were denied. In my particular hearing, my blog post was actually brought up and of course, used against me as evidence that I was “unfit to be a Chi Omega” for making this such a public issue. Throughout the whole thing, I learned that these women weren’t really people I wanted to associate myself with and I moreso identified with my Mu Alpha chapter and all the wonderful women there, as opposed to the national organization. The way we were treated throughout the whole thing could not have been farther from the values and purposes of Chi Omega that had been instilled in us throughout the new member process. I graduated in May and still look back at Chi Omega with fond memories but the whole thing taught me a valuable lesson – especially about when and how you need to stand up for yourself. I haven’t been back to campus since as I have been doing somet traveling but I hear the Mu Alpha chapter is still on a tight leash and due to a lot of the probation initiatives, I think a large portion of this year’s senior class have voluntarily relinquished their membership. I really hope the outcome may be different for you but if not, I truly wish you the best of luck and an amazing school year regardless. You only have four incredibly short years in college (cherish every last hour), so don’t let anybody taint that for you!

      All the best,
      Hilary

  23. This is identical to what is happening at the Psi Alpha chapter at the University of Oregon! It is unbelievably difficult and frustrating and you have our love and support. LICO

  24. Hi Hillary!

    Like some of the other above comments, I too went through something similar at the University of Oregon. After stumbling upon this beautifully written blog, I got the inspiration to write something of my own. It’s reassuring and also saddening to know that this was not just an attack on our specific chapter, rather how National chooses to conduct business- cruelly and unprofessionally. If you’re interested, here’s a link to my blog! http://jenna-force.squarespace.com/blog/2014/11/14/legendary

    Best,
    Jenna

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